I am rerunning Toles' Emergency Procedures cartoon, because Byron Smith has added a ninth step. I'd like to offer a prize to someone who can provide a step 10 strong enough to stand with Byron's step 9, but I can't afford it and I can't afford the lawyers to figure out how to do it if I could.
So I am handing out traditional, old fashioned pulp-publishing no-prizes instead. Only In It for the Gold no-prizes are hereby titled No Gold Medals, and Byron surely gets one for his (slightly edited)
9. Consider that fire may actually reduce the building's heating bill. Commission study by think tank to investigate.Another No Gold Medal to he-who or she-who comes up with point 10.
Update: Tony Lee got an LOL out of me with 10. Maintain that those involved in fire detection cannot be involved in firefighting policy. If they insist on getting mixed up in firefighting policy, we get to ignore everything they say.
That said, probably the best punch line in keeping with Toles' original cartoon and audience is oquantril's 10. Under no circumstance sound an alarm. This would be alarmist.
No Gold Medals are being prepared for both contributors as I write! Many thanks to all contributors.